Your Baby and You: Week Forty Five
YOUR BABY
Behavioural Development: Stranger Anxiety
Not to be confused with separation anxiety, stranger anxiety is when your baby gets upset when held or approached by someone that they don't know. It may start as early as 7 months and is very common. It is actually a good sign of normal development, showing that they distinguish between those they know and those that they don't.
Always display confidence yourself in the strangers that you are introducing them to, and make the introductions gentle. Don't put your baby straight into the arms of someone that they don't know and then walk away. Sit together in a room, play with your baby whilst they become adjusted to the presence of the other person and gradually encourage them to interact - but don't rush it. You can get more tips on dealing with stranger anxiety here.
Social & Emotional Development: Is shyness stopping your baby from interacting at play sessions?
This is quite normal, and needs to be treated in much the same way as with stranger anxiety. It is important that you don't give up going to such groups, particularly if there are no other similar social activities that they are going to in the week, such as nursery. However, you need to be very patient and reassuring with your baby. Try to avoid spending the whole session sitting cuddling them, gradually encourage them to take an interest in a certain toy or activity and get down on the floor to join them initially. Don't try to sneak off to the bathroom when they're not looking, you can set them back a long way if they look up to find you are gone without warning. If your child's behaviour does coincide with them getting upset when you leave them, then read more about separation anxiety here.
Feeding: Giving them time
Meal times already take up a big proportion of the time in your day, what with planning, preparing, feeding and then clearing up for each one. Consequently it can become easy to rush your little one through some of their meals, without realising that you are doing it. Many babies have a bit of a 'lull' at some point during a meal, where they appear to lose interest in what they are eating. It can be tempting to remove the meal at this point, but in actual fact if you leave it a few minutes you may find that they resume eating again, and you can be surprised at how much more they put away.
Care Advice: Striking the right balance with the play pen
Playpens can be a marvellously useful way of keeping your baby safe whilst they play. It prevents them from getting into mischief in drawers and cupboards that they aren't supposed to be in, it keeps them safe from pets and other siblings and what's more, it confines the toys they're playing with to one small zone of mess! However, it can become so easy to use a playpen - or a cot for that matter - to allow you to get other things done, that you use them too much. It is important that babies have plenty of space to move around for much of their active time during the day. It helps them to improve their crawling and standing skills and to develop their sense of exploration. Try to make sure that there is a balance for your baby between time in a pen and time to roam freely (with your keen eye on them of course!).
Common illnesses and ailments: Croup
Croup is an illness associated with children and characterised by a barking-type cough. If you suspect that your child has croup then take them to your GP for treatment - but if the condition becomes very serious and your child is struggling to breath take them to A&E straight away. You can find out more about the symptoms of croup here.
THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR BABY THIS WEEK
Activities: Play dates for the shy baby
If your baby is struggling with stranger anxiety as described above, or dislikes being in large groups to play, there is no need to stop having play dates with your friends, but try having smaller ones. Have just one or two other babies over at a time and avoid having older children over to start with, if you find that their noise and speed is intimidating your baby. You need to gradually build your child's confidence in socialising with others. It is important that you expose them to social situations, but also that you never force them against their will. Remember too, that displaying signs of shyness is not a sign of your baby being antisocial, weak or awkward.
ALL ABOUT YOU THIS WEEK
Your Emotions: Returning to work
Whether you have already returned to work, the date is approaching, or you are going to continue to stay at home with your baby, there can be a lot of emotional stress at this time of your life. If you have already gone back to work, it can be very emotional leaving your baby with their care provider each day and many parents feel sad or guilty. This is very normal, but in time you will find it easier and you and your baby will settle into a daily routine that works for you. Whether you are already back at work, or planning to be soon, read our article on making the transition as easy as possible.
Of course, a number of parents - mums or dads - decide not to return to work after having a baby. This in itself can also be difficult emotionally, especially if lots of the people you have spent recent months socialising with are all going back to their jobs. Every individual, their preferences and their circumstances, are different and you have to make the decision that is best for you. Read more here about becoming a full time stay at home parent.
Your Relationships: Is your partner getting one-on-one time with your baby?
If you have been the primary carer for your baby since they were born, it can become easy to fall into a routine whereby your partner spends little, if no time, alone with your baby. Spending one-on-one time together is really important for building their relationship and creating a stronger bond with one another. And this means more than them just babysitting whilst baby naps! Encourage your partner to sit down and really play with your baby, and do it regularly. The more this happens, the more they will notice in the changes in your baby's abilities and skills - such as how they're able to stack rings on a toy or put the pieces into a shape sorter. As they become more involved in these changes you will both get more out of sharing your experience as parents together.
Time for yourself: Go anywhere!
And whilst your partner indulges in some alone-time with your baby, it's time for you to spend some time on yourself. Think about it in advance so that you get the most out of your time alone. Whether you have been waiting for an opportunity to get to the gym, to catch up with a friend, or just have a quiet mooch around the shops and a coffee on your own. It's good to get some time to yourself now and again.
YOUR WEEKLY CHECKLIST
(Helping to keep you organised!)
Baby Health: Choking
At this age, there are so many opportunities for your baby to end up choking on something, whether it's his food at meal times or a small toy or other object that gets into his hands when it shouldn't. Give yourself the confidence to deal with these situations calmly. Read more here to refresh your memory on how to deal with a choking baby.
