Your Baby and You: Week Four
YOUR BABY
Weight & Appearance
Whilst it is important to get your baby weighed regularly, don't expect them to gain weight at a constant rate. Most babies gain weight in fits and starts, especially breastfed babies and this will be more noticeable if you have them weighed weekly. From this age it is fine to have them weighed once every month.
Physical Development
This week you may find that your baby has gained enough neck strength to lift their head for a short period when lying on their tummy.
There are a number of interesting reflexes that babies have when they are born, one of those is the Moro reflex which causes the baby to suddenly spread their arms, then to bring them back in and then often they begin to cry. You may have noticed this reflex in your baby. It is triggered by the sense that they are falling and usually wears off within about 4 months.
Social & Emotional Development
Is that a smile? Could it be? Babies don't usually start smiling until between 6-8 weeks but it can sometimes be as early as 4. So maybe that isn't wind after all?
Behavioural Development
You might be finding more patterns to your baby's behaviour now, and learning what does and doesn't comfort them. Some babies reject the use of a dummy to settle them but others take to it readily and calm very quickly with it in their mouths. Read more here about using a dummy to comfort and settle your baby.
Tips for teaching baby day from night
- Either let your baby nap somewhere different during the day, or have the room lighter than at night time
- Make sure your baby gets plenty of fresh air and daylight each day (even if they nap through their walk!)
- Talk to your baby during the day when he is awake, but keep night time interactions as quiet as possible
- Have a set wake up time and get your baby up at that time every day
Bottle Feeding
If you are bottle feeding your baby, keep an eye on the flow rate with the teats you are using. By about the age of 4-6 weeks your baby may be ready to move up from a newborn teat to the next stage up - depending on the brand of bottles you are using. Don't change their flow according to their age though, watch how they feed. If they are coughing and spluttering then it is likely that the flow is too fast, go down to a slower flow teat. If they are sucking hard and seem frustrated then try a faster flow teat.
Consult your doctor before making a change to their milk
Some parents turn to a soya based formula if they think that their child is intolerant to cow's milk. This is not always a recommended substitute and you should seek advice from your GP before making this change.
If you are thinking of starting to express milk then make sure you have all the equipment you need. You can express milk by hand but you will need containers to store it in and then bottles or cups that can be sterilised in order for the milk to be fed to the baby. Read more here about expressing and storing breastmilk.
Care Advice: Dry Skin & Bringing up feeds
Some babies are sick more often than others. If you are concerned that your baby is bringing up too much milk, if it is causing them discomfort or if they are not gaining weight adequately then seek medical advice. If your baby seems healthy and happy then the following tips might help you:
- Wind your baby after every feed
- Keep your baby upright, or at a 30 degree angle after feeds to help him digest his milk
- Keep a muslin cloth over your shoulder or lap to absorb the milk, it often isn't actually a huge volume, but it looks better on a cloth than on your jacket!
- If it embarrasses you when you are out and about take extra muslins or a small playmat with you to lie your baby on when at other people's homes
It is quite common for babies of this age to have dry skin. There are lots of products on the market for soothing dry skin (such as baby massage oils) but many midwives recommend the use of simple olive oil or grapeseed oil. Always check with your health visitor or chemist before buying any creams or lotions and do not massage your baby with peanut oil as some babies may be allergic to it.
Safety Advice
Safety Tip - Car seats
Never sit your baby's car seat on a raised surface such as a table or chair. It may seem safer to keep them out of reach of other children or from being tripped over but the risks from the seat falling from a height are usually far greater. Find a safe place on the floor for your baby's seat instead.
Common Illnesses: Stuffy noses
If your baby has a cold or seems congested it can interfere with feeding as it makes it difficult for them to suck at a teat or at the breast. Saline nasal drops can really help to unblock their nose, and they can be purchased from your chemist.
THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR BABY THIS WEEK
Entertaining your baby: Sing to them!
Babies love to hear the sound of their parents' voices and repeating songs is a great way for you to interact with them. It will be a while before they're joining in but if you sing the same songs regularly you may soon find that they calm down or respond with a smile as the familiarity catches their attention.
ALL ABOUT YOU THIS WEEK
Your Body: Contraception, pelvic floor exercises and mastitis
Naturally most couples respond with sarcasm at the suggestion of contraception with a 4 week old baby, your body is still sore and the new arrival probably leaves little room for eating dinner let alone resuming a sex life. However, it is really important that you are aware that it is possible to get pregnant again now even if you are breastfeeding. There are oral contraceptives available that are suitable to take whilst breastfeeding, alternatively make sure that you have a supply of condoms at home - just in case you happen to find yourself with the time or inclination!
Remember to keep up your pelvic floor exercises. They will increase blood flow to your perineum and speed your recovery from childbirth, what's more they will help to prevent stress incontinence, a problem that affects some women after childbirth.
Sometimes breastfeeding results in blocked milk ducts , which can lead to mastitis. Blocked ducts can be painful but there are ways that you can relieve them, read more here. If you suspect you have mastitis (symptoms include a red swollen breast or flue like symptoms) then contact your GP as soon as possible for treatment.
Your Emotions: Bonding with your baby & Being the perfect mum
If you are finding it is taking time to bond with your baby then do not feel guilty. It is a common misconception that all mothers fall head over heels in love with their baby at first sight and that they have an impenetrable connection with them. Many women experience a lack of connection with their baby, even feelings of resentment or jealousy with all the attention the baby gets from their partner or other family members. Be gentle on yourself, give your relationship with your baby time to blossom and be open with your partner and health visitor about your feelings.
Are you worried about being seen as not coping? Nearly all women find that at some point they feel as though they are struggling to cope with the dramatic life change of becoming a parent. Society and the media put a lot of pressure on women to be seen to be enjoying life as a new parent. Remind yourself that parenting doesn't come easily to anyone, especially in the very early months. Try to make friends with other new parents and share your experiences together.
Your Relationships: Family members
Talk openly with other family members (particularly grandparents) about your approach to looking after your baby. The more they understand about your baby's routine the less likelihood there is of any friction between you about how things are done. Here are some tips for managing your relationship with your parents or in-laws:
- Explain your approach to looking after your baby, whether this is sleeping them on their back, how you wind them or how long you let them sleep for during the day.
- If you find yourself frustrated by grandparents cuddling your baby to sleep too much, or wrapping them in too many clothes address it nicely! Tiredness and hormones can make a new mother unduly snappy!
- Get them involved in the care of your baby, not just the cuddles. Ask them to change nappies or to help prepare bottles. This will help you more but also help them to feel more involved.
- Don't assume they know nothing. Of course guidelines for baby care have changed since you were a baby, but there is still a lot we can learn from our parents. Be receptive to their suggestions and open minded about trying their ideas - provided they are safe.
- It's a good idea to put yourself in their shoes if you find them overwhelming or if you get frustrated with them for some reason, one day you might be a grandparent wanting to be close to your grandchild and you might not get things right in the eyes of your children either.
Things to do - Get some air
Go for a walk. Your baby will probably nap nicely in the pram, giving you some guaranteed peace and quiet. The fresh air and the exercise will do wonders for you too!
Time for yourself - Fill the tub
Make time for a long bath. Get your partner to guarantee you a good hour on your own, take up a book or a magazine and some ear plugs if you want to keep out the noise from the rest of the house!
YOUR WEEKLY CHECKLIST
(Helping to keep you organised!)
Routine medical appointments: Health visitor appointment
Your health visitor should see you this week. They will check your baby's hearing and do a general health check. They will also discuss your child's immunisation schedule, i.e. when you need to make appointments for them. Make sure that they give you a Personal Child Health Record (usually a red book) if you haven't already had one. This is for recording all health information for your child, from their weight gain to their vaccinations and lots in between. Always take this red book to any medical appointment you have for your baby.
