Your Baby and You: Week Three
YOUR BABY
Appearance: The soft spots on your baby's head
You will notice that your baby has 2 noticeable soft spots on their head known as fontanelles. The most noticeable is the one at top of the head towards the front, the anterior fontanelle. The posterior fontanelle is towards the back of the head and smaller. These spots are gaps between the plates of skull and in time they will close up as the plates fuse together (usually within 2 years).
Physical Development: Nappy changes
You can expect to be changing at least 5-6 wet nappies a day, but when it comes to poo a baby's schedule can be more variable. Some babies fill their nappies reliably at every feed, others can go days without a bowel movement (especially breastfed babies). Read more about your baby's toilet habits here.
Wet Nappy Tip
It can be hard to define what a wet nappy actually is, especially with disposable nappies which are very absorbent. Take an unused newborn nappy and tip into it 2-3 tablespoons of water. This is what a 'wet' nappy should feel like.
You may find that your baby's bowel movements require more than just a nappy change - you are not alone if you find yourself changing vests and tights and wiping poo from the middle of their back. Some babies seem to pass their bowel movements with more of an explosion than others, and sometimes the volume can be too much for the nappy (particularly if the nappy is wet). Make sure you always carry at least one change of clothes for your little one, and plenty of cotton wool or baby wipes!
Removing a poo-filled vest
If your baby has done a good job of soiling all his clothes with an exploding or leaking nappy, try not to make matters worse by removing the soiled clothes over his head! Most vests have lapped shoulders that open wide enough for you to remove the vest down over their torso, meaning you can keep the mess below head height!
Behavioural Development: Fear
You may notice your baby starting to demonstrate fear or surprise at loud noises by starting or crying when they hear them. This is a good indication of normal development.
Feeding
If you are finding it difficult to hold your baby whilst breastfeeding, or if they are not getting a good enough latch all the time, try a different hold.
- Cradle them across your body tummy to tummy. You can use either arm, resting their head in the crook of your elbow if you are using the arm on the same side as the breast that they are feeding from. Or you can support their head with your hand if using the opposite arm
- The Rugby Ball Hold is popular with women recovering from a caesarean section and those with large breasts. Hold the baby's body under your arm and support their head with your hand. A cushion to support them and a low armed chair is advisable for this position. This is a great position for feeding twins simultaneously.
- Side Lying is a relaxing position to feed in and also useful if you are recovering from a caesarean section. Lie on your side on the bed or semi propped up on cushions and lie your baby on their side facing you. This can take a bit of practice but many women find it very comfortable.
Many women worry about whether or not they have enough milk to breastfeed, or how often they should feed their baby. Remember that the key indicators that your baby is getting enough milk are:
- That they are having plenty of wet nappies
- That their weight is increasing normally
If your baby starts feeding very frequently it is likely to be as a means of prompting your body to make more milk in order to aid a growth spurt and not a sign that they aren't getting enough milk from you. Speak to your midwife if you have any concerns over your milk supply.
If you are worried about how much formula to give your baby, at this age it is normal for them to have around 120ml in a feed, 6 times a day. Your baby may need more, particularly if they still seem hungry after a feed. But avoid the temptation to answer every whimper from them with a bottle of milk, especially if they are vomiting up their feeds - they are probably getting more than they need.
Care Advice: Wind, colic and hygiene
Remember to continue to wind your baby after each feed. Lying a baby down after a feed without helping them to burp can cause them discomfort and may result in them bringing up their milk.
Some parents have difficulty settling their baby and struggle with persistant crying. Find out more about colic, common patterns of behaviour and techniques for dealing with it here.
It can be hard to decide on your approach to 'germ proofing' your newborn. It is right to feel protective over them, particularly whilst their immune systems are so immature. At the same time you need to be able to enjoy life with them and cocooning them in a sterilised capsule at home isn't going to be much fun for anyone. Make sure that everyone who handles your baby washes their hands regularly, and ask friends to delay their visits if they have been unwell. Protecting them from every possible illness is impossible, but common sense will go a long way in keeping them safe and well.
Common illnesses and ailments: Reflux
If your baby is bringing up some of her feed then this is possibly reflux - a condition where some of the feed travels back from the stomach into the food pipe, bringing with it acid which can sometimes be painful. Reflux is common but babies suffer with it to very different degrees. If your baby seems to be in a lot of discomfort with reflux, or if they are bringing up a lot of milk (especially if they are not gaining weight adequately) then you should seek further advice from your GP.
Safety Advice: Back sleeping
Remember to continue sleeping your baby on their back and always remind anyone who is babysitting or watching them for you that this is what you want.
THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR BABY THIS WEEK
Activities: Chat away
Keep on talking! Talking to your baby is a great way to strengthen your bond with them and to help them to become more familiar with your voice and your different tones. It can be an effective form of soothing your baby, for example when you are changing them and you want to keep them calm (and still) but you can't comfort them with a cuddle. Some people find it helps them to keep their sanity too when they are changing the 40th nappy of the week!
Going out with your baby? Remember to pack your change bag in advance - keep a list of essential items to remind you what you need.
ALL ABOUT YOU THIS WEEK
Your Body: Continuing recovery
Any bruising or stitches should be healing well. Continue to follow the aftercare advice of your doctor and seek further medical attention if you find you have any of the following:
- High temperature
- Unusual vaginal discharge
- Breathlessness
- Depression
Driving after a caesarean section
Usually women are advised to wait for 6 weeks after a caesarean section before driving. If you feel that you are ready before this then check with your health visitor or GP first - but also with your insurance company. Some policies will not insure you drive in this period.
The night sweats affect some women after giving birth, and are usually caused by the natural changes in your hormones. They are often uncomfortable but should come to an end soon. In the meantime make sure that you are well hydrated, especially if you are breastfeeding.
Your Emotions
As your hormone levels continue to change and tiredness catches up with you your emotional state can be quite fragile over these early weeks. Some common triggers of stress and the blues at this time include:
- coping with a crying baby
- struggling with breastfeeding
- being at home alone with a baby after your partner returns to work
You must be kind to yourself and have realistic expectations. Remind yourself that most women struggle with the same things as you do and that getting to grips with being a parent of a newborn takes time. Talk to your partner and your friends, especially if you have friends who are also first time parents. Socialising with other new parents is a really helpful way of starting your new life as a mother.
Your Relationships: You & your partner
By this week, most partners are returning to work after 2 weeks leave. Leaving mum at home and returning to the usual demands of their career can be very difficult for both parties. Here are some tips to help you both through this transition:
- Put yourself in your partner's shoes, their colleagues expect the best of them at work regardless of the fact that they have a newborn baby at home. They need sleep at night and to be able to concentrate when at work
- Speak openly with your partner about what has been difficult in your day, as well as the good bits. It's important that they get a good picture of what your day is like and how you are coping with it
- Agree how you will split the routine responsibilities. Maybe your partner can take over at bath time or do the late evening feed so that you can get some rest. Or perhaps you could agree to hand over more responsibility at weekends
- Plan some time alone together without your baby, even if that means getting someone to look after your baby for an hour whilst you go out for a coffee, quality time together can be hard to find at home when you have a very young baby
Resuming your sex life after having a baby is a hot topic amongst many mums. Of course, it will be different for every couple. It is still very early and you need to make sure that you feel ready physically and psychologically. Don't have sex with your partner out of guilt or because you think other women are doing it by this stage. Most women wait months before resuming their sex life. Read more here about how to make sex comfortable and enjoyable after having a baby, and don't forget about contraception, it is perfectly possible for you to get pregnant again even at this early stage.
Things to do: Shop online
If you haven't already done so, look into doing your grocery shopping online. Getting around a supermarket with a tiny baby can be stressful and time consuming, whereas internet shopping can be done from the comfort of your own home. What's more, you can arrange to have the shopping delivered at a time when your partner is at home to put it away for you!
Time for yourself: Rest & diet
You might be bored of hearing this from other people by now, but it is so important to rest when your baby does. There will always be other jobs to do, but most of those can wait. The more rest you get the more you will enjoy your time awake with your baby and the better you will cope with sleepless nights.
Sleep is important, but so is your diet. Eating high sugar foods with poor nutrient values might be comforting for a short while but they won't help your postpartum recovery or your energy levels. Eat a balanced and nutritious diet and make sure that you stay hydrated - especially if you are breastfeeding.
YOUR WEEKLY CHECKLIST
(Helping to keep you organised!)
Routine medical appointments
There are no routine appointments this week but it is a good idea to pop into your local clinic to get your baby weighed if you are up to it. Your health visitor will give you information on where this can be done. Plan to take your baby to one of these clinics on a regular basis to make sure that they gain weight at a healthy rate.
