Behaviour

Fear of Strangers

Many parents are taken by surprise when their happy, friendly, sociable baby who charms everyone he meets, suddenly starts crying whenever someone they don't know walks into the same room as them.

What Is Strange Anxiety?

If this sounds familiar, your baby has stranger anxiety. It normally affects babies when they reach 7-9 months, and around 50-80% of babies show stranger anxiety. At this age they may cry when a stranger enters the room, or tries to talk to them. If the stranger picks them up, they may become very distressed. This is because at this age babies can remember familiar faces, and distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar faces and situations. They have realised that they and their primary caregivers (mum, dad, or their guardian), have separate identities, and that it is possible that they may be separated from them. Scientists believe that babies are programmed to recognise unfamiliar faces and fear them. From a survival point of view, this makes sense. Babies know they are safe with mummy and daddy, but when a stranger rocks up, they have no idea whether they are friend or foe. Studies have shown that babies are less fearful of new people when the strangers don't try to pick them up or touch them.

How To Deal With Stranger Anxiety.

Help your baby get over this natural reaction by not letting people she doesn't know hold or touch her if she isn't happy about it. Let her cling to you. If you force her into being more sociable than she's ready for, it will confirm her fears and she'll get more upset and more fearful of strangers.

If you're meeting up with friends, invite them to yours rather than going to their house. Your baby will feel less fearful in her home environment. Don't worry about your baby offending people by crying as soon as they so much as look in her direction. Warn them that she is shy and ask that they don't try to pick her up or touch her. Ask that they show her a book or offer her a toy instead.

You can help her feel safe when people she doesn't know are around by giving her lot of cuddles, and by talking and smiling at the 'stranger' to show her you like the new person. When she's ready she'll be more sociable and accepting of new people.


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This internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult a doctor or other healthcare professional.