Your Juggles of Modern Motherhood
Monday 11th of November 2013 | Category: Opinion | Written by: Leoarna Mathias‘Multi-tasking Underpaid Miracle worker. Mum for short’; that’s how Suzanne Whitton describes the modern juggling mother. Her fellow club member Oana asked her own mum, many years ago now, ‘When is your work going to finish Mum?’ ‘Never, it will end when my days end!’ came the reply. The description of her day from Mr Boos Mum – with wit, honesty and humility running through every word – is enough to make the most driven and determined individual feel weak at the knees from the herculean expenditure of effort undertaken every single day.
Such is the nature of motherhood, when seen through a certain lens.
Over on the increasingly marvelous Mum Network Trusted Blogger Club pages we’ve just held our first blog carnival. The idea is simple; our members all write a post on their own blogs with a title and subject matter set by us. This time round The Juggle of Modern Motherhood was the topic. The winner will receive a ticket to one of the hottest blogging conferences in town, Britmums 2014. The competition closed on the 4th of November, and we hope to annouce the winner this evening. We had some very high quality entries, and we’re really proud of the range of perspectives that were presented on the member’s blogs.
Orli Degani wondered why the juggle is only ever associated with mums with young children; she notes ‘No-one ever says, hey look at that single man juggling his career and gym membership!’. Anne-Marie adds, ‘when children are very small mothers need more support, not to be pushed to learn circus skills without training.’ And in an illuminating piece around cultural expectations of mothers in different societies around the world, Dominika states ‘We are only human and humans were not designed to care for their young ones on their own. In a tribal society, banishing a mother from her family and making her cope by herself would have been a death sentence. And yet, we’re surviving and with style! The juggler mother is a freak of evolution and she deserves every respect for it.’
Many of the blogs focused on how it can be near impossible – and maybe undesirable - to live up to an ideal of what modern motherhood should be. New club member Sara pondered how ‘We hold ourselves up against the sanitised ‘truth’ of Facebook updates. We see others who appear to ‘have it all’. We have celebrities (A list to D list) extolling the joys of motherhood, and the flat stomach, perky boobs and hit movie/song that followed within weeks of the birth. We have reports claiming that we are damaging our children by working, by not working, by using nurseries or childminders or nannies, or none of the above.’ And Lucas added ‘The supermum - with whoever and whatever she is, there's a single thing she emphatically isn't, under any circumstances, and that's me. I am kind of a polar opposite. These are not the balls I juggle. My balls are rough and skuffed from being kicked around on the floor a bit.’ Longstanding blogger Jax had a different take, and considered her role as a mother in the wider context of British society. She has the feeling that it isn’t so much the kids’ needs versus her needs that give her a sense of juggling, more that the juggling is between ‘bits of me. How do I keep the balls of wanting to see, do and have more in the air alongside concerns of fair division of resources, environmental worries and safeguarding the future?'
The honesty of the posts entered into the competition is utterly endearing. It is clear that every mum writing wrestles internally with her success, as she perceives it, at meeting her children’s needs while maintaining some sense of self. As Jocelyn writes, ‘in amongst this chaos, this emotional fatigue, we get to spend time with these wonderful little beings, shape their lives, delight as their personalities emerge, share in their joys, and cheer them on from the sidelines as they grow up . I think the juggling act is worth it.’ Another new member, Vicky wrote her entry in poetry; her poem concludes:
But no matter how much they push and shove
It’s hard not to think they were sent from above
For you to hold close, care for and love
I’ll happily juggle modern motherhood
And finally Iona takes another route to illuminating the story of the juggling mother; photography. We especially like this one, simple entitled ‘loving unconditionally’…
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