Trick or Treat...
Thursday 31st of October 2013 | Category: Opinion | Written by: Lucas JamesI had that thing earlier - you know when you overhear something and know that you should say something but you don't do then you spend the next three hours obsessing over what you should have said? Okay, maybe the next six hours. And counting.
That.
In the supermarket, at the till, and as I am doing my usual checkout environmental guilt trip (I've forgotten my bags-for-life / should I buy more which I will probably forget to bring with me next time or should I be a bad person who uses the ordinary ones?) my brain gets pulled to attention by a conversation between the customer and cashier at the next till. And the word that did the pulling? Well, it was a phrase really : child in a wheelchair. Oooh, I thought, I have one of those, I wonder what the conversation might be about. The need for parent carers to be entitled to an assessment of their needs? The fallout from the shocking panorama investigation into Winterbourne View? The difficulties involved in trying to simply getting around in a busy supermarket, only getting busier and therefore more difficult as the festive season approaches? In case you haven't had the pleasure yourself, you'll have to trust me when I say trying to push a wheelchair and and a shopping trolley at the same time is something of an acquired skill. But no - this turned out to be about...something else.
A kid in a wheelchair...I just don't think it's right.
What isn't right? The fact that there is a child in a wheelchair? The fact that the waiting list for a wheelchair assessment in Bristol can be up to two years?
I know what you mean...it's not on really.
What exactly? That the child doesn't even get to chose what colour the frame will be?
But like I said, they don't seem to realise that, and what can you say?
Who doesn't realise what? Don't you realise you need to give more detail so that nosy people whose child-in-wheelchair alarm has just gone off can work out what you're talking about?
It's not just a one off though, it's every halloween - other children there too, but why would you take a boy in a wheelchair?
Halloween? A boy in a wheelchair? Take him where exactly?
I mean, it's just begging really, isn't it, so do you think the wheelchair is just for pity? I mean, he does look a bit...you know...
Begging. Pity. Looks a bit ... you know. I don't know. What does 'you know' look like?
I don't know...I've seen him in the wheelchair when it isn't halloween though, so it isn't part of a costume or anything like that.
Starting to feel a bit sick. Please don't be talking about what I think you're talking about . . .
It's just not fair, is it - I'm sure he'd rather be at home in the warm. I wouldn't take him, if it was up to me. I'd feel like a charity case, trick or treating with a boy in a wheelchair.
Fair. Charity case. Trick or treating. Boy. Wheelchair.
Maybe that's why they take him, so people feel sorry for them and give loads of sweets!
I think they are talking about what I think they're talking about.
Customer and cashier laugh companionably, probably not realising that their careless conversation will still be spiralling around in my head hours later. Because it was Smiler they were talking about. My Smiler. My gorgeous boy. My eldest son. My family. It's us, that drag the tragic boy, in his wheelchair, out in the cold, to go trick or treating. Only to get more sweets, of course.
I hate that people see him like that - that when they look at him, all they see is a boy in a wheelchair.
What do you think? Is halloween just for the ordinary kids? I mean, Smiler is 'you know' - he has what is officially tagged as a severe learning difficulty, as well as quite a collection of extras, but does that mean he shouldn't get to dress up at halloween and knock on doors and gather some sweets? To be honest, the most he's been prepared to do in the way of fancy dress is waving a wand, unless you count the year he had major hip surgery and both legs in plaster . . .
What do you think your reaction would be? Would you assume a trick or treater in a wheelchair was campaigning for the pity vote? Would you give them extra sweets? Do you take a child with special needs trick or treating, or do you chose not to? Let me know what you do, or don't do, or what you think you would, or wouldn't. It's almost three am now, and my brain has finally stopped chasing their words around in circles - thank you, for letting me share. Now it's your turn - tell me your thoughts!
