Opinion

Is it Just a Number?

Wednesday 19th of February 2014  |  Category: Opinion  |  Written by: Suzanne Whitton

"Are you ok if she watches The Hangover?" were the mum's parting words, as I dropped my 13 year old off at yet another sleepover. Having watched the film myself, I hesitated; in my head I'm thinking 'of course it's not ok!' but have to tread a little carefully here. "Have you seen it?" I ask the mother "No" she replies.  

Apart from anything else, this film is a certificate 15. But if that's not reason enough, the subject matter is not suitable for a child: men exercising their last rights before embarking on married life with alcohol, orgies and drunken stupiditiy thrown in.  I'll let you into a secret here *whispers* I actually thought it was funny but as an adult, I can understand the humour and relate to the story-line. Why would a child want to watch it?  

This isn't the first time we have encountered such a situation.  My son (then 8) went on a sleepover last summer, the first he had been on, where I wasn't all that familiar with the parents.  On our way home the next morning, I casually asked him what film he had watched: "a film about zombies, it was a 12!"  He has also been to several homes where it is commonplace for 8-10 year old boys to be playing 'Call of Duty' on the Play Station or Xbox. This game is a certificate 18.

The ratings are there for a reason people!  It shocks and saddens me that many parents seem to have little or no regard for the advised age suitablity on films and games. At the very least, I think it is polite or respectful to check that the visiting child's parent is ok for them to play/watch films over their age limit. Has it become so 'normal', that it is accepted as a given, with no need to enquire?

Back to my daughter and 'The Hangover'....I made my concerns clear with the parent (risking the wrath of my daughter!) and she conceded that if I wasn't happy, she would not let them watch it. Apparently, every girl had been asked to check with their parents first and all the other parents were ok with it.  I left the house feeling guilty, somewhat embarrassed and questioning my decision. Was I being naive? If everyone else is watching these films, perhaps she should be too? I was also wondering why she hadn't asked me beforehand...was she planning to watch it without me knowing?

But do you know what? I believe that in these situations we need to trust our instincts. There is no one else in this world who is going to protect our children - as a parent, that is our job.  Sure, they will be bombarded by outside influences as they get older (trust me, there's a lot that goes on at Secondary School that we would rather not know about!) but I firmly believe that we should be attempting to shield them in whatever way we can.  Even if it does expose us or make us the 'odd one out'.

When I collected my daughter the next day, I asked her why she hadn't sought my permission to watch 'The Hangover'. Her response? "Because I knew you wouldn't want me to watch it, so I was just going to say that".  Bless her heart. I can only hope that was true! 

So, what do you think? Am I being naive? Would you let your 13 year old watch 'The Hangover'?


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