Bitter Sweet Baby and Toddler Show

When I announced I was attending Manchester’s Baby and Toddle show on Friday, some people asked why?

My daughter is nearly 3 so I can see their point.

It got me pondering why myself.

Before I had Elizabeth I didn’t really take much notice of babies. I had polycystic ovaries in my early 20s so I presumed I wouldn’t be able to have children or it would be a struggle to get pregnant, so when I missed my period in May 2010, I presumed I was going through the menopause-yes that is how my mind works!

When I eventually found out I was having a baby, I was overjoyed and my obsession with all things baby began.

Surprisingly, when I choose my pram, I didn’t research at all. I went purely for looks (Mamas and Papas Switch in Mimi). It was beautiful. Heavy and impractical but beautiful and we didn’t find out the sex so my theory was if the baby was a girl we would get the rose for the pram hood.

Looking back, it was far too feminine for a boy but I didn’t care at the time and thankfully the baby was a girl so a rose was duly purchased.

Maybe I felt I had missed out on pram trials as I went straight in and picked the only one I thought I wanted but I went two years ago to the baby show and loved looking at all the prams on offer and everything else exhibited there.

This year was different.

I looked forward to the show with my usual excitement and arrived bright and early with my mum and daughter in tow.

There were some brilliant exhibitors with very clever inventions including Feed Me Mummy breastfeeding vest who, very kindly, provided me with the ticket.

I also got total pram envy with some of the new designs from the like of Cosatto.

However it was tinged with sadness and loss and to be honest, a feeling of not belonging.

While it is called the Baby and Toddler show, it is much more geared to babies and expectant mothers.

Elizabeth looked too old and because I am not pregnant, I just felt like I was intruding on the ‘real’ expectant mothers.

The truth is, I should have either had a four month old baby with me or be five months pregnant. I had no baby with me and, despite my flabby tummy, there was no baby inside so the whole experience made me sorry and sad for the two babies I lost and even more broody and obsessed with having another.

From the woman who thought she would never get pregnant, I’ve become one of those women who are totally obsessed with all things baby and getting pregnant.

In hindsight, with two miscarriages under my belt, one only three months ago, maybe going to the Baby and Toddler show was not my brightest idea.

On the upside, I got my pram fix and pray next year it will be me either walking round with a bump or pushing a newborn in my own new snazzy pram.

This article is a feature from the MUM.com Trusted Bloggers Club.

About the author

Emma Lander

Emma Lander is a farmer's wife and mummy. She writes for a living and hopes to live the dream of having loads of little chicks (both feathered and human). Worth a look if you want to feel normal (she's not) and read about the funny things that happen to her and her family.

Click here to read my full biography.